Posted: Friday, April 3, 2009 | |

sick, sick, deliriously horribly sick. so sick I couldn't muster the wherewithal to roll (literally, in some strange caterpillar like state of rolly polly) down to the doctor's to get a prescription for a part of what ails me so. And! the only interesting thing that came out of this was my first feminine fainting spell last night on the way to a dinner with P's dad and girlfriend. First and hopefully last because it was not nearly as glamorous as I imagined it would be. The whole -I-can't-stand-up-anymore nausea/dizzy feeling makes the actual event feel distinctly unfeminine and unsexy, fyi. I ended up just feeling guilty about it, which makes no sense because it was something quite unavoidable but in my state I remember apologizing profusely. I remember thinking oh my god the American faints on the way to eat real food, she must have had a toxic shock to her system from all this culture and elegance and refinement; the mask comes off! Like I said. Delirious. I managed to hack my way through dinner but today is the punishment for that one.

I'm going to cling to the fact that I managed to clean the litter box today. Awesomely. Can one clean a litter box awesomely? Why yes, they can, and I did. Neat and nifty and with a plastic bag secured in a way that will make for painless clean up next time. At this point it's the only thing keeping me somewhat upbeat so give this one to me people or suffer the wrath of THE KUTZ. I think P is angry with me for not being able to roll to the doctor's (yet another reason for the sad face, burger=angry=kutz sad) but then my amazing litter box skillz might just bring a smile to his face. I'll go tomorrow or Monday but for now I have to nakedly, sheathed in an ohsosexy layer of sickly sweat, try to writhe as little as possible.

remind me that this will all be over in 2-3 weeks? sick is beginning to feel like my default state and life is confined to what goes on inside the four corners of this sick bed. I'm amusing myself alright now but pretty soon it will tilt over to crazy. Send me health! Send me sanity! Pears?

Not to mention (oh really, I should not mention) the afternoon I nearly died on the toilet. I say this in complete seriousness. The shape of the bathroom doorknob will never recover from my grip of death.


  1. Namaste said...
  2. "The shape of the bathroom doorknob will never recover from my grip of death."

    Oh bloody hell that's brilliant!

Post a Comment