I wonder about Murakami recently; and how he was suddenly charged by the idea, one day while watching a baseball game, that he could write a novel. After owning a jazz club for years, writing for fun...I wonder about the succession of hours, days, moments that lead up to this epiphany. I wonder about epiphanies in general, especially creative ones. Seeing Philippe work every day in a creative field, I see how irrational the creative is, especially when applied to concepts such as consumerism and a free market...how one solution is just one in and endless pool of solutions, and why is this one the one? And when he experiences an ah-ha! moment, despite the capricious nature of design, it is as final as the solution to an engineering problem. And yet that element of irrationality...that is the slightly off hue key, the one that makes the whole picture ignite. Imperfections, rationalizations, the movement behind ideas.

Philippe and I spoke about fashion as the modern medium for masterworks- meaning the same ideas, genius, and talent found in the painters of the 18th and 19th centuries is alive and well but hidden within the seemingly unbreachable, irrational world of fashion. I can't see how, could never see how, one could write fashion off as shallow- they haven't seen haute couture. The absolute skill needed to create, the vision, the execution, it's all there. It has as little to do with practicality as a painting- both made for consumption. And yet people push fashion aside because of the implication of vanity...of being object driven, materialistic. This is such a weak argument to me, as by being human beings we are by nature material driven- the meaning comes from what elements you ascribe to said material object. Meanings and movement, all on my mind. If you look at the good fashion editorials, you can recognize the patterns from Italo-Byzantine paintings- the madonna and her worshippers, the infamous pyramid. It's very easy to loose sight of things and to imagine that artistic purity was in the past, and that society is no longer fit to produce it. I just see the art moving into spheres it can function in- spheres that provide funding. Same for painters- they needed patrons. But in our society, money=evil, unpure. But what is the root of money? Humanity, and if you consider money evil, well love, I think it says alot about how you view humanity (savage, naturally evil).

Maybe I see infinity in things in a way that's strange, or at least unusual. I haven't found many people yet that see infinity in anything...but for me, at least, it's everywhere. So much is ageless, timeless, and infinity by definition is one of those things. I believe genius in all forms falls under that category. That's why I love P; I think in his way, he can see it too. I'm not afraid of dying; I know that for a fact, in that split second moment before death when you know it's coming, I will be overwhelmed only by compassion and love for the life I did have, that chance to see things this way, for infinity. The only thing I that I would regret would be that if P was still alive, I didn't get to love him longer.

Ramblings! Always those ramblings. P is meeting with Chanel earlier then Olivier Theyskens- his two main projects right now. I can't wait to meet Olivier- I wonder what sort of storms lurk behind his eyes, for all the frustrated dreamlike beauty he creates....http://www.style.com/fashionshows/video/F2009RTW-NRICCI

P opens up my world in the funnest sort of way.