I'm tired of technicolor this, saturated that; of posturing, of appearances, about creating that void between your breed of reality and 'theirs'. Everyone's forgot about the act of living (being, existing) separate from bubbles and boxes and neat little 4 walled constructions.

expanding, blooming

but getting tired of a collective reality leads to nothing but lazy ennui. I want to reject it all, but this seems to be the only reality I have to choose from. can't we all just get along?

(I don't know what I'm on about. Some form of escapism. Leakage.)

but I can't ignore the fact a rather large part of me wants to turn my back on this reality, and float, float away

balloon girl

edit---
this poem just made me sob. as in bawl. and it was so incredibly soothing, refreshing, oh e.e! such exquisitely painful beauty in simplicity, form and language, all about the human kind of language associations. I want to reject everything but poetry, as Anais, everything else, no other way around it, we (she, I, you) always come back to it- poetry, always poetry.

In time of daffodils
by e.e cummings

in time of daffodils(who know
the goal of living is to grow)
forgetting why,remember how

in time of lilacs who proclaim
the aim of waking is to dream,
remember so(forgetting seem)

in time of roses(who amaze
our now and here with paradise)
forgetting if,remember yes

in time of all sweet things beyond
whatever mind may comprehend,
remember seek(forgetting find)

and in a mystery to be
(when time from time shall set us free)
forgetting me,remember me

---

SHIT. e.e. I'm a mess.

(thank you)