Linguistical, Lugubre

I wonder if I am in a unique position to notice the variances and metamorphosis the english language has been subject to in the past 50 years, being an etrangere abroad, an expat never quite pre-patriate to begin with. Perhaps even my sad lack of talent in linguistical adaptation has lent me a window into the language of global english that my more adaptive peers have missed. The effects of dissemination, adaptation, of english having to adapt from any native definition of a language in itself, geographically bound and held to dialectic standards...what sort of english is coming across the lines, virally, over telephone wires, in the corner cafe...

There is some phenomenon completely unique to the language that gives me pause when I think of english, "The Language". I came to Europe for people to tell me how irrelevant I was with my heritage and language, and was promptly kicked in the ass by the absolute magnitude of anglo saxon culture as the GLOBAL trans atlantic, pacific, ocean to ocean to country border alike, relevance of english as a median. 

Here, it doesn't matter that I speak with eloquence and delicacy, because english has been swallowed and regurgitated to the point where nuance is either irrelevant or unidentifiable. Perhaps equal parts both. And the state of the native english on its respective, natal soils?...I am now T-2 years uncomprehending. But the linguistic implications for the language strike me as hugely important.... If anything, the time in between has given me the opportunity to revisit paperback teachers with an almost vacuum-state which lends itself solely, conditionally, to some sort of philosophical prime for mental arrivals. To be irrelevant is to be FREE, suddenly, horribly, grotesquely, impossibly, wonderfully, woefully FREE...

and what to do with said freedom?

As a sponge, mid soak, as always. Remain, regenerate, renew.

I do wish there was some study relating to global english in a psych-linguistic context, however. But I dare to bet that these studies will only come much later and much too late after the fact to have any in house relevance to reality as is or will be during the 10 years to follow.

They say cyber space is the the place to create a community; a touchstone for like minds. But I sit back, looking, waiting, as always. Time and place dependent, still hoping for that electric shock to open the mental pores of another mind, that surpasses the normal 21st century questions of dependency or responsibility and draws from that eternal feeling of necessary communion. The base need to be revelations unto themselves, to have collaboration and not acknowledgment, to have heard the clarion call for that exultant existent OTHER..

It might be a major percentage in naiveté, in absolutist youth. But that minor percentage, the latitude and agonizing depth of it, well...can't say I fathom that disappearing in some cloud of smoke resulting from a maturity BOOM either.

So we remain;

A Sponge, MID Soak